Why Sometimes, I've Believed as Many as Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast!

Why, yes it's true! In fact, I've probably believed and dreamed as many as six hundred impossible things before breakfast...most as I'm lying in bed at night, trying to fall asleep (albeit unsuccessfully) as my mind is awhirl and atwirl with so many ideas I can barely keep them straight! But that counts as before breakfast...don't you think?

After a long hiatus, (too long), I'm back. I seemed to have separated from my art in the last two years, wandering down a different path, but now that we've found each other again, things seem to be even better...I believe that creativity and the process that inevitably follows, feeds your imagination and one idea seems to bloom into another, and another...and another...and before you know it, your mind is swirling with all the impossibilities you dream of making possible. When I truly began making art two years ago, I was at a bit of a crossroads with myself, it was a time of transition, exciting and unsettling all at once...fast forward two years later and I seemed to have settled into myself. I met the love of my life, fell in love, moved in together, got married, and have a fantastically amazing five year old stepson. All of a sudden it wasn't just me anymore, I had a family, and responsibilities to people other than myself. I thought it would be difficult to settle into, I always thought of myself as a bit selfish...sleeping till noon, wandering wherever I pleased, whenever I pleased, without a care...but it was a role I fell into easily...I guess that's the way it goes when things work out as they're meant to be. But all of those experiences led me back to where I am today...exactly where I'm supposed to be, and I've never felt as settled or as ME as I do right now. I guess I needed that time and that space, uninterrupted by the creative process and the tempest of thoughts and ideas that follow (as I tend to be rather obsessive that way) to allow myself to believe in something other than the possibility of art... and believe in the possibility of love, trust, and family...But in retrospect I realize that it's really not that separate after all...it all intertwines and weaves together, forming a tiny path that you can only see if you look really hard and and believe in the possibility that it might lead somewhere...I'm glad I was paying attention.

Me - Plotting against the evils of time!

Plotting & Scheming
Originally uploaded by ms_mod

I've been away from my little ol' blog for about a month now...feels like just yesterday I was posting about my big adventure to Artfest...time has a way of slipping away from me...I have this wierd sense of timelessness in my life, which is sometimes wonderful and other times frightening...I think it's kind of a like a self-imposed oblivion, created sheerly for the purpose of self-preservation because the idea of time passing is so scary to me...It's wonderful in the sense that I rarely feel that sense of urgency that things need to be done NOW! It allows me to buoyantly float through life with my own gentle rhythym...taking as much or as little time to simply do as I please...You may be thinking it sounds like a fancy pants way of saying I'm a procrastinator...well, I'm that too, but this is different somehow...this is almost like a denial of time itself...denouncing it's very passage by refusing to move at it's frighteningly quick speed...time has no consideration for the moment whatsoever, regardless of how magical, poignant, or important...each moment is just like any other and time shows no favoritism, quickly moving from one moment to the next...this denouncement of time can be a bit peculiar and scary as well...my sense of time is so often skewed and warped that sometimes I will find myself in situations or relationships that I tend to languish in...long after I should, later lamenting why I didn't move on sooner...this fact is sometimes just the jolt of fear that I need to start taking time a bit more seriously...I never want to be that person that wakes up twenty years from now wondering where the last twenty years went...that, to me, would be something unforgivable...I struggle with finding that balance between timelessness and a sense of time's passing...balance is something I struggle with in general, but that's a different post for a different time...I guess I'll continue to buoyantly float, occasionally reminding myself to pick up the pace at least to a dog paddle, in an effort to both deny and embrace time...and find that balance I so desperately crave...

Artfest Here I Come!!!!

i've been such a bad little blogger lately, but there have been so many changes afoot, that i've had trouble keeping up with them myself. most of them really good and exciting, a bit unknown about how it will all turn out, but i guess that's all part of the excitement, right? i feel like i'm in for a really big transition in my life, a major turning point, and i'm really welcoming it and looking forward to all the possibilities it may bring.
i've also been frantically getting ready for my trip to washington to go to artfest 2008, yay! if you don't know about artfest, google artfest 2008 and check out the site...it's this fantastic 4 day retreat full of art making, workshops by fabulous instructors, and lots of friend making too....i'm a bit nervous, as i'm going into it not really knowing a soul, but i think it's going to be amazing and i'm sure i'll meet all sorts of wonderfully creative people....i've been trying to really push myself this past year to do/try things that scare me...things that i fear...and a year ago, i would never have been able to do this...a year ago this would have been a sweet little pipe dream in my brain, something i would dream about, fantastize about, "wish" i could do, "wish" i could be the type of fearless person that would pick up and travel across the country to spend 4 days with 600 strangers in pursuit of something they loved, always wishing to be that person...hoping to be that person, but never really able to envision how i would become that person....and now, about a year later...i am that person. still with fears, anxiety, and a bit of trepidation, but not the type that keeps you frozen in place, stagnant, unchanging, stilted, a concubine of your own mental/emotional fears , no, not that kind of fear...just a normal healthy dose of everday fear, the kind that gives you butterflies in your stomach and quickens your heartbeat for a moment or so, the kind that makes your palms a bit sweaty and your mouth a tad dry...that's usually the kind of fear i experience these days. so off i will go to artfest on tuesday, with butterflies in my stomach, a quick beat to my heart, a slick palm, and a dry mouth...off to do the undoable and be the person i never thought i would become. ♥

Take it in Stride and Let it Ride!

Take it in Stride and Let it Ride!
Originally uploaded by ms_mod

Sometimes you just need to let it go..."Let it Ride" is part of my new dolly affirmation series, loosely inspired by Stuart Smalley of Saturday Night Live fame and alcoholic's anonymous bumper stickers. It features hand drawn lettering against a backdrop of super 70's flower power madness, in deliciously vibrant shades of lime green and tangerine dream!
Directions for dolly affirmations are as follows:
1) hang in prominent place
2) repeat dolly affirmation several times while wearing
"free to be me" sweatshirt
3) have fabulous day chock full of self-esteem
4) repeat as necessary♥